gut wrenching 2 weeks

Had just been through 2 weeks of emotional roller coaster. All because I had to choose between 2 jobs, and also some level of home sickness.
Job A I had already accepted, three months earlier, but is not the job that I trained for (ie engineering). Yet they have the greatest people and recruiting methods. And an atmosphere I felt truly comfortable with, plus a job function that is highly interesting. Oh, and it's in Chicago.
Job B I was offered unexpectedly. Is the perfect job description that matches my original intent of coming...let's see...20 gazillion miles across the pacific ocean to simultaneously suffer and semisemi-thrive in grad school. a highly interesting job function too, one not easily found. Culture and people, not so sure. But was very strict on the reply-by deadline (1 week from verbal offer, 4 days from actual offer).
So, being the knucklehead stubborn mule that I am...decided to let go of job A, and went the path of job B ie idealism bla bla bla- idealism with a pay cut, in a small small northern city. Was an extremely difficult situation for me personally, cos i do hate hate hate(to infinity) going back on my words. And also kinda fell a bit in love with Job A already.
All compounded by the fact that I hadn't been home in a year and almost 3 months. i've come to realise that if i do not go home at least one a year, my emotions tend to go cuckoo. Get sad and emotional for no reason.
It's strange how me and my friends had evolved since uni days. Leaving home for the 1st time to go to college? Easier than cooking maggi mee in a mug. Oh were we eager to see the world! be independent! meet new people! cure cancer! Solve the grand unified theorem! In fact, I was so NOT home sick during my first semester that during break after that semester, my dad had to bribe me with phone cards to make me call home once a week. I felt bad when my aunts told me that my mom cried after I left for college, and when I didn't call home.
Then the years go by (cue soft piano and violin), and our parents grow older, and I guess we grow wiser, or at least more appreciative of the extra blessings that we were given in the form of our loving parents and pesky sibling(s). And so we grow more attached. But we're all grown up now, and have to cari our own makan, dance our own dance, wiggle our own hiney, with some ending up far away from home. Denied of luxury items like 3 months of semester breaks each year, I look back at my callous teenage self, and have to say - bodohke engkau?
Where was I going with this?
Oh, yeah, wish me luck with my job. I will do my very very best and hope for the best. Alhamdulillah..
And I love my mom dad and pesky brother. And my wai por,wai gong and my aunts and uncles and cousins, and all my lovely crazy friends. muaks.

A geek's take on breakups

So, I've been asked this question recently.
When does one know if a relationship is worth breaking away from?

I think that there are many reasons, but the most obvious for me, in simple, engineer friendly formula is:
Happiness(Boy+girl) < Happiness(boy)+Happiness(girl)
where
y(x) means y is a function of x

Or, if Happiness(boy) is an unknown, it can be calculated just using data from the girl, ie
Smiles(girl in relationship)-Tears(girl in relationship) <<
Smiles(Girl single)-Tears(girl single);
t>t*
where
t* is total time needed for sufficient data collection
and
sufficient data=enough data to predict future scenario

Then perhaps it's time to say goodbye, shed some tears, and move on.
Of course, that's always easier said than done.

So, how does your relationship fare? What do you do to keep the happiness score high? And how do (most of) our parents do it?

tung tung tung tung

The result of "To phD or not to phD, that is the question" is in. And the winner is...The chicago job with the 5 figure salary (as in total annual salary lah) ! Congratulations, Mr chicago job with 5 figure salary, how do you feel about this victory?

Mr chicago job with 5 figure salary: Phew, I tell ya, sista, that there is sumthing of a close call. wuz afraid that girl there be stupid enough to choose ideals over money! hahahaha.. (wiping sweat of the 5 figure face).

Whoa, those are pretty harsh words, Mr chicago job with 5 figure salary...

Mr chicago job with 5 figure salary (turning a nice shade of orange): hehehe..just kidding, just kidding. Gosh, you people gotta lighten up. I mean, come on, ya know she done made the right choice. She done old and poor, alone in a foreign land. It's time to shore up some of em greenbacks, ya know what I'm sayin?

Well, Mr chicago job with 5 figure salary, late twenties is not exactly old, you know. Futhermore, experts interviewed say that if she goes the phD route, she would have recovered the "financial losses" incurred while in grad school in no time, if she gets a job in industry after that.

Mr chicago job with 5 figure salary: Her parents think she's gettin old, don't they? and, I hear the big IF in your sennntence.

I am pretty sure her parents didn't mean it that way. Anyway, the experts also say that having a phD proves the girl's versatility and trainability - she would in fact be much more marketable, and be perceived as a totally brainy chick(which is a lethal combination)! Plus when it comes to career advancement, phD totally kicks ass!

Mr chicago job with 5 figure salary: expert shmurzert. She got me, ain't she? you want experts? i got this university full of experts, them asian experts says the opposite. Strange how all the white chicks and brothers think so highly of education.

Are you implying that race plays a part in this.

Mr chicago job with 5 figure salary looks left and right before saying: ya know, i shouldn't be sayin this, it aint no race, it that dang nationality. foreign people always gets short changed. bloody visa sponsorship, and nationality requirement! Back in them old days... (starts rambling while mumbling)

OooooK! Let's quickly turn to miss phD. What say you, Miss phD?

Ms phD, calm, cool and collected as always (hey, her last name IS Doctorate after all): The girl will be back. No worries. I know her. She'll be back, if not next year, then the year after next, or the year after next after next. Any year. But she will be back. And YOU, you can call me philli. *giggles*